A Cup of Comfort for Couples by Colleen Sell

Author:Colleen Sell
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: epub, ebook
Publisher: F+W Media, Inc.
Published: 2011-03-03T16:00:00+00:00

To Love Greatly

“I will never, ever have a decent boyfriend. Never!” Dayna screamed through a waterfall of tears. “And don’t you dare tell me I will, Mom. You can’t face the truth, but I can. Nobody good will ever want me.”

My heart sank. Choking back tears, I said simply, “I’m sorry it didn’t work out for you, honey.”

What more could I say?

Dayna, my developmentally disabled thirty-nine-year-old daughter, manages serious perceptual and neurological learning disabilities. She attended a special education program all through school. Romance had not worked out for Dayna, ever. She had recovered from severe breakups of long-term relationships before. This was the second time she’d left her low-rent, HUD apartment for disabled persons to make a go with a partner in another region of our state. When the romance failed, her reentry into the HUD program and setting up house again embarrassed her and drained me financially. Relying on family assistance to get back on her feet now, at almost forty years old, was almost too much for Dayna to endure. Her self-esteem was at its lowest, and she was convinced no one would ever love her.

A few weeks passed, and Dayna, with her characteristic resilience, put herself back into the dating tournament. She used the Internet and local singles magazines, and she went to local church and social groups. We talked on the phone every Monday night to recap the weekend dating events, and I dreaded the summary evaluations, such as:

“He was nice looking but seemed creepy.”

“He kept repeating everything I said.”

“I loved his thick, curly hair, but his teeth were bad and his clothes weren’t clean.”

“He is so anxious. I couldn’t relax.”

Or the very real, but painful for a mother to hear, “He has even more disabilities than I do, Mom.”

Or the even more painful, “He ditched me when I went to the bathroom, and I had to pay for both of our burgers and coffees.”

Sometimes the dates were more devious:

“It wasn’t even his real phone number, Mom. It was a laundry. Why did he do that to me?”

There was a Tim, a Robert, a Paul, a Ben, a Kevin, a Ron, and someone with limited English skills named “Panji.” One suitor was as old as her father. The string of first dates kept getting longer. My heart was breaking for Dayna. Maybe she was right, maybe she would live alone all of her life.

Some twists in her dating scene were just plain odd, as in this post-date report:

“Mom, the man from Maine just dumped me from our date, saying I wasn’t fat at all. He was really mad because I’m petite and skinny. He called me a liar.”

“I don’t understand, honey. Did you make a posting saying you are overweight?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Well, maybe he has some problems and came up with an idea that you are overweight, or maybe he was hoping you would be large. I don’t know.”

Then, she said sweetly, “I know I’m a good person, and in my posting I said I am more to love.

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